Worrying worries me.

My six year old daughter McKenna has been one hell-fire of a child since the day she turned two years old. Before that, her infancy was a dream. She rarely cried and was always smiling. She ate anything we gave her and liked to sleep in. I remember before our third child came via Sr. Stork in Florida - the wife and I enjoyed waking up to coos and babbling at around 8:00 in the morning. A stark contrast to the youngest child who feels it is her duty to wake up the roosters. McKenna never outgrew the terrible twos. It progressed into the trying threes, the freak-out fours, the fouled-up fives and now the seriously challenging sixes. My wife and I are now going down the dreadful road of coming to grips with the idea that there may be something else at work here.
When I was younger, Autism was something I kind-of learned about by watching Rain Man (MGM, 1988) and later on learning about Doug Flutie's kid. I am not stating that McKenna is Autistic, though we did think that over a time or two. Recently we have been mulling over the possibilities of both Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) and Aspergers Syndrome. In addition, there is the possibility of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and even something a seemingly benign as Middle Child Syndrome. What do you do?

Collectively the symptoms seem to overlap in such a way that makes it impossible to make an accurate diagnosis as a parent. So yes, we need to take her to a specialist, and there is the rub. There are so many gray areas here, that trusting the right professional is a really difficult decision. How many times have you really liked someone only to find out later they were really incompetent at their profession. (It doesn't matter who it was or what they did. It could have been a friend who, as it turns out, was not a very good accountant - the same guy who has been doing your taxes for next to nothing.) What if that guy or girl is your child psychologist? I know, get a second or third opinion, etc. But at what point does this become harmful to the child? How many specialists can you cart her off to before she starts to get the idea that there may be something very wrong with her? Will this create some more issues? Makes me wish I were Amish and not privy to the crazed problems of the English.

All joking aside, it really requires the support of your spouse and other close family and friends. For anyone who has had to juggle a career and maintain the home while keeping up with the kids' school and medical/dental needs - you know that these situations are extremely stressful and also time consuming. WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT? Unfortunately one must make time. The Internet helps. I found the fine people at GoodTherapy.org and they have made a valiant effort to help. There are also a lot of other resources out there on the inter-webs that can assist even the busiest and least technical mom or dad.

Our journey is just beginning right now and I believe that it will all work out for the best. I have been taking each day at a time and making sure that I am holding my temper and being calm with the kids. As I have stated in the past, this is a tall-order for me. I am a reactionary, passionate person. I have a short fuse and don't like unreasonable people, which pretty much defines kids. I mean, of course I like my kids! But I was not wired to do this job. I am forced to, however and I am learning that everyone (who is relatively normal) can be rewired in some respect. I will never stop worrying about all the little things, but it would be nice to get some answers and move on to developing the minds of my kids.

If you have had or are having a similar experience, please post a comment or send me an email.